Carly’s Dating Chronicles: Who Pays On A First Date?

Carly is also founder and editor of Carly’s Dating Chronicles

For the first time in my life, my paying virginity was taken. I went on a date and he actually asked me for money. It was the weirdest and rudest thing I’ve ever experienced. Let me start from the beginning.

One of my friends set me up with the guy, who’s name will be Mr. Cheap. One great thing about being single is a lot of my girlfriends want to set me up. Some of them get competitive to see who will be the first to find me my next boyfriend. Mr. Cheap and I emailed a bit and finally decided to meet last night.

We met at Elsa, which was his suggestion. I was bold and wore flats. I based my outfit around my Pucci flats, so I obviously wore all black. I chose an American Apparel scoop neck mini dress to tone down my crazy colored Pucci flats.

Mr. Cheap looked ravishing in black linen pants, a t-shirt, and flip-flops. When I saw him, I had a good feeling about our date. Little did I know that my woman’s intuition was way off.

Mr. Cheap and I both ordered a beer. In this heat, I love drinking beer. Thankfully, I don’t gain weight from beer so I can guzzle it down. Mr. Cheap told me he’s a bit of a beer critic because his best friend’s family owns a brewery. I’m not a name dropper so I refrained from mentioning that my ex owns the most amazing brewery in Moscow. Instead I told Mr. Cheap that I love beer so I enjoy learning about it.

Mr. Cheap knew I was raised in New York City so he asked me what it was like growing up here. I told him it was fabulous and nothing like Gossip Girl. I went to an all girls private school and we had a blast, but my teenage years weren’t as dysfunctional as Gossip Girl. Mr. Cheap grew up in Philadelphia but moved to New York City as soon as he graduated from college.

The date was enjoyable and I didn’t almost fall asleep, which is a good thing. When the check came, I sat there and smiled as I usually do. Mr. Cheap looked it over (which is something I despise) and told me I had 3 beers. He asked me for $20 and then proceeded to take out his gold Amex. I was so appalled I just sat there. In my 24 years of going on 1st dates, I’ve never once been asked to pay for my drinks. I gave Mr. Cheap a $20 bill (thank God I had cash on me) and told him I had to get home. I walked out of Elsa beyond shocked.

My date with Mr. Cheap got me thinking. When you’re in a relationship, it’s natural to sometimes split the check. However, on a first date, I don’t think it’s ever acceptable to ask the woman to pay. Mr. Cheap asked me to have drinks with him. He invited me and it’s protocol for the man to pay. Now that I think about it, I’m still stunned.

Do you agree with me? Or do you think the woman should pay for her drinks on a 1st date?

Original post 7/22/10 @1:00

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