Gay Life – The Paulinator: Coming Out

texting

Original post – 6/8/09 @ 23:14

When I first started this column on neighborbee, I wanted it to be a fun, Carrie Bradshaw-esque weekly piece that told about my similarly fabulous life (minus the Manolos). Truth be told, I think that’s how I still want my column to come across, but as I go through this incredibly journey of coming out there will always be those bumps in the road that don’t seem to be the most pleasant. This past weekend, through no fault but my own, I experienced one of those moments. My breath was sort of taken away and my heart nearly stopped and it all started with a pretty funny movie.

Friday night I watched Sordid Lives which is dubbed “A Black Comedy About White Trash.” Accurate, yes indeed! At one point in the movie, one of the main characters, Ty, decides after talking with his therapist that he needs to fly to this grandmother’s funeral, to see his mom and tell her he’s gay. The movie made it seem incredibly simple, but also still showcased it in a very highly dramatic way. What I enjoyed most was that despite the subject matter, they still were able to laugh about it and have that relationship a child should in fact have, regardless of their sexual orientation, with their parents. The movie should have come with a warning label though… “Do not try this at home, until you are ready or under the influence of alcohol!”

Not having gone out in quite some time, since I’ve sort of backed off Hot Bartender, my drinking seems to have simmered down too, for which my liver thanks me. Though all I wanted was to go out and have a wild and crazy night. Sure enough, that is what I got… I decided to go to a bar a seldom visit, possibly pick up a stranger and have my way with him… before I got that crazy though I would need a little liquid courage. While drinking (wingman-less) I pulled out my cell phone and went to town drunk texting, facebooking & now twittering away! I took photos of the beautiful go-go boy I was trying hard not to turn into my new obsession. I posted a status update on facebook making sure everyone (regardless of how well they know me) knew I had just come out to the world. Yes, friends, I came out to the world on Facebook and on Twitter, welcome to the 21st century I guess. Well, good thing my parents are not friends with me on Facebook and I’m positive they have no idea what Twitter even is. That said, I felt bad they were not able to revel in my new found (albeit alcohol-induced) freedom, so knowing they now have cell phone service at the house, decided to include my mom in my list of  “People I’ll drunk text tonight.” This is what I sent to mom at 2:38 a.m.: Mom welcome to drunk text from me. YOU KNOW RIGHT? thanks 🙂 you super son {redacted}. I love you

Simple, easy and at the time, very painless. I was on cloud nine. Not only did I just (in my own way) come out to my mom, I was now flirting a lot with the gorgeous go-go boy. Knowing full well he wasn’t going to take me home, I did my best to not throw myself at him, but I threw caution to the wind and went for it anyway. Once his shift ended he asked if I would stay right where I was, he’d be right back, with clothes on. Absolutely, but I never saw him again that night and the guy closest to me had already started a conversation with me. Well, he would do… so after talking for a bit, learning he wasn’t crazy, we ventured back to the subway and then to his place.

to be continued…

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